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last night, i stayed up way past my bedtime.  to like 10:00 or so.  i was watching the end of the voice.  you know it?  blake sheldon had drawn me in.

sitting on my couch, as i was, i could look directly into my kitchen.  and see my backdoor.

now, this particular backdoor has a window in it.  a window on which i have painted a faux stained glass design.  no curtain.  just opaque, colored glass.

suddenly, a movement caught my eye and i glanced at the door.  i saw the light from what appears to be a flashlight shining into my window.

my heart was instantly in my chest.

i jumped up.  and turned on all the lights in the house.  which is like, three.  my house is small.

i grabbed my phone and punched in the numbers for 911.  nine.  one.  one.  and held my finger ready on the send button.  as i wandered from room to room, periodically peering out my windows.  certain i was about to be looking face to face with my killer.

i thought about calling a neighbor.  but remembered i didn’t have any numbers.  curse this self-isolated culture we live in!

so i called my brother.  the older one.  the one that was ten minutes away.  not the one who is currently in boston with my parents.  that one i didn’t thing could do much for me.

levi immediately calmed me down.  but recommended i call the police.  and i was about to.  until he offered to come out himself.  of which i was happier to accept.

in the meantime, he said, grab a knife or something.  just in case.

good idea.  except i only own two knives.  used to be three, but every since my roommate moved out, i haven’t been able to locate the third.  of the two i own, one is a small ceraded tomato knife.  i didn’t figure that could do much.  and the other?  a bread knife.  dull as dirt.  but big and menacing.

as i waited for levi, i stood in the living room with the phone, poised to call 911, in one hand.  and the bread knife in the other.  i tried to position myself next to the windows, so my shadow would scare off anyone who looked my way.

ten minutes later.  which felt like thirty.  levi came up the drive.  and into my house.  with a flashlight and some protection.  he made his way out to my backyard, arms poised like a 1920′s detective on a stake out.

he made his way around my property, shining light.  and the fear of God.  into any crevice a burglar may have been hiding.  with the all clear, we went back inside.  after getting the phone number of my neighbor.  for future reference.

shortly after, levi returned home.  but not without leaving me that same protection to adorn my night stand.

needless to say.  my night’s sleep was fitful.

and now i’m on the hunt.  for a husband.  or a roommate.  or a dog.

in that order.