tararehrig.com

there is something about my brother that i think you all should know.

i’ve already highlighted how incredibly talented he is.  i’ve already told you how funny he is.  wait…maybe i haven’t told you that… i’ve already narrated how protective he is.  and i’ve already shown you how amazingly lucky he is.

but what you don’t know.  what i’m just discovering.  and appreciating.  more and more.

is how selfless he is.

levi has one more year of school and then will graduate with his graphic design degree.  he’ll marry bekah. move to bartlesville.  and start working as a photographer.  hopefully in his own business.

right now, he works as a designer for a local photographer in okc and freelances on the side.

he’s worked hard to develop his style.  his name.  his product.

he’s invested in good equipment.  in programs.  in education.

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then i enter the picture.

i want to start taking better pictures.  i want to learn the tricks.  i want to start my own business.

and so i ask for levi’s help.

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here’s where a normal person {read: me} would start to feel territorial.  selfish of competition moving in.  prideful in the work they’d put in on their own.  and leery of sharing too much with someone else.

it’d be easy for him to say, “go buy your own equipment.”  when i ask to borrow his light diffuser.  or “i have my own pictures to work on.”  when i ask for help on photoshop.  or “stop trying to do what i do, loser.”  when i ask if i can be just like him when i grow up.

but he doesn’t.

he generously loans out his equipment.  without hesitation, gives his time.  and enthusiastically encourages my pursuits.

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i couldn’t ask for a better brother.  i love him.

and i thought you all should to know.

my sister, kelley, my brother, noah, a friend and i all went to lunch after church today.  when the check came, noah asked if anyone had a tract to leave.  we didn’t.  so he wrote this note instead:

for mother’s day, my mom was given this anti gravity reclining lawn chair.

it is advertised as having infinite reclining points with range of motions.  seriously.  that’s what the ad says.

ethan will demonstrate:

we all gave the chair a whirl.  as we would a ride at six flags.  ooing and ahhing over the infinite reclining points.  moving it back and up with ease.

finally, it was noah’s turn for a ride.

he sat down. and as instructed.  he pushed.

and he pushed.

and he pushed.

and he pushed.

and he pushed some more.  poor kid.  he just couldn’t get that chair to budge.

not sure why either.

yes, noah.  you may use this in therapy one day.

here it is.  the big three – three.  practically knocking on death’s door.

or so i felt last night, when i sent myself to bed early.  suffering with severe attack of the allergies.

but this morning.  on the anniversary of my birth.  i woke up with a spring in my step…and a bruise on my the bottom of my heel….this growing old thing is for the dogs.

but i shook it off.  looked myself in the mirror.  and found this:

my sweet sis.  who is bunking with me during her summer vaca.  left birthday messages all over my house.

if that doesn’t get you gonna, i don’t know what will!

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at school, every hour was full of birthday wishes and fun!  of course, my students declared i couldn’t possibly “work” on my birthday, so we might as well just partay.  aren’t my students the best ever?!?  but since i’m an old, responsible thirty-three now, i did the mature thing and gave them notes.  the show must go on, folks.

however, my dear friend and fellow {spanish} teacher held surprise birthday parties {cloaked as cinco de mayo celebrations} for me in all her spanish classes.  i worked off the chips and salsa with frequent refill runs across the hallway from my classroom to hers.

to round out my mexican fix, i had two delivers of starbucks and sonic from the kelster.

i had to practically be rolled out the school doors by three.

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not to be outdone by the generosity of kel, ethan brought me this pretty bouquet of flowers:

of course my students were disappointed they were from my brother.  and not a real boy.  they live to hear of my love life.  only because it distracts me from teaching lessons.

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no cinco de mayo birthday is complete without a trip to the local mexically restaurante.  ole!  the rents sprung for the meal.  and the sibs provided the entertainment.

thanks mom and dad!  it was da bomb diggity!

finally, i posed for my “this is what thirty-three looks like” picture.

pretty, right?

so, you can see why, by the end of the day, i was fighting off the paparazzi.  all clamoring to get a piece of me.  on the day i turned thirty-three.

you started hours ago. days actually.  time spent cleaning.  and decorating.

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and cooking.  and decorating.  thanksgiving, you’re very time consuming.

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when you finally got here, i was ready.  jumping with anxiety for my family to arrive.  you’re usually my mom’s day.  her baby.  but i was happy to take you on as the adopted one.  this once.  so that my momma could just enjoy the day.  she looked adorable, by the way.

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while we waited for the rest of our family to come, you gave us the perfect excuse to take funny pictures.  me and my sis:  my cleaning buddy, my decorating buddy, my cooking buddy.  my co-host.

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we poured ourselves some coffee.  and chilled.  as we waited for the potatoes to boil.

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thanksgiving, i was a little worried about getting everyone around my little table.  in my tiny, postage stamp house.  but it really worked out.  just fine.

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and as always, the real party was at the kid’s table.  fo’ reals, right?

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at the end of the day, you even gave us time to play some games.  telephone charades.  funny dance moves.  hilarity ensuing.  the only thing i would have changed, thanksgving, is levi and bekah missing out.  traveling up to illi.  leaving us in the dry.  we missed ‘em.  but we didn’t forget them.  in fact, they were the proud recipients of a special message in honor of you, thanksgiving.

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so thanksgiving, what i really want to say is:  you’re the bomb.  thanks for the memories.  they’ll last a lifetime.

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when i was a kid, i used to spend hours thinking through what i wanted to ask for christmas.  my memaw would give my sister and me catalogs that we’d thumb through, dog-earing the pages of the toys and clothes we liked best.  at thanksgiving, the list would be passed to my aunts and uncle, gramma and grampa.

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as the years went on, the items on my list morphed from babies and barbies.  to book.  to clothes.  to jewelry.  to gift cards.  and finally to simple cash.

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with a disposable income, the frivolous things i “want”, i just seem to get.  like a new scarf here, a pair of earrings there.  some patterned tights or funky moccasins.  the major things i “need”, cost more than my next year’s salary.  a new car or even just new tires.  a fancy camera or a mac book.

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i have to be prodded to even write a christmas list.  preferring instead to take my chances, let my loved ones pick something they “think” i would like.  after all, i’m not hard to buy for.  in my opinion, i like and want almost everything.

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and i really.  in the grand scheme of things.  need nothing.

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except love.  peace.  joy.  long-suffering.  kindness.  goodness.  faithfulness.  gentleness.  and self-control.

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oh, and a husband.

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what’s on your christmas list?

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me: so, noah, how do you feel about turning 12?
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noah: i’m 14.
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me: oh, sorry. how do you feel about turning 40?
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noah: whaaaa….i’m not quick witted like this.
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me: ok, ok. how do you feel about turning 14?
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noah: i’mmmmm… it’s…… uh….. it’s, uh, it’s pretty, uh, fine.
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me: wow. you seem pretty stoked about it. i see you’re having a hard time containing yourself.
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noah: uh…. i can contain myself?
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me: alright. so, what are your big b-day plans?
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noah: i’m gonna eat pizza then have dinner at dinner time…
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me: whoa… slow down there party animal.
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noah: …. then we’re gonna play settlers….
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ethan: we’re playing settlers?
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mom: we don’t even have settlers here!
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noah: she brought it in her car…. and um… hehehehe…. that’s all i have to say.

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me: very good. very good. so, now that you are 14, how do you think your life will change?
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noah: i can go to sams without people saying “he’s not 12 so he has to have his mom get samples for him.”
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me: yeah, that will be cool. how old do people think you are, usually?
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noah: ten.
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ethan: i still think he’s seven.
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noah: this is my interview. why is mom in it too?
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mom: she put me in it! i guess because i’m so wise……
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the end.
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my brother, levi.

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he needs your love.

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he’s a designer.  remember?

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well, he’s at it again:  designing away.

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this time, a t-shirt.

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if you love him.

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if you love me.

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if you love anyone.

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go to this site.  and show him some love.

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he needs it.  poor thing.

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it was a typical day around the rehrig meal table.

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we’d eaten.

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drank.  (water, of course)

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put away the dishes.

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were snacking on munchies.  and dishing up ice creams.

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a chip clippy was floating around.

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so we put it to use.

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like i said.  typical.

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we tried out various options.  eyebrows.

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check bones.

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noses.

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and jowels.

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we laughed hard.  of course.

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just another typical rehrig meal time.  passing around the chip clip.

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and lest you think us childish and immature.

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let me inform you that our antics were not limited to the youngers.

in fact, i think she may have initiated it.

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my brother.  ethan.  the funny (er) one.  was recently asked a question on the wall of his facebook.  it was a simple question.  one that required a simple answer.

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“So, how’d you get the sweet job of being the ice cream man?”

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see, the beef sells ice cream at lunch to earn money for his senior trip.  he’s entrepreneurial like that.

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this was his reply:

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*(contents taken from his facebook wall.)

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“Well it all started one afternoon three years ago. I was sitting on a park bench eating my daily ice cream, when this strange bald man resembling Charles Xavier from the x-men movies rolled up to me in his wheelchair resembling the wheelchair that charles xavier from the x-men movies rolled around in.

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“I like the way you eat that ice cream,” he said to me.

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“thanks,” I said as I turned my head as if to avoid his piercing eyes. It was the strangest feeling, like he was in my head, just like Charles Xavier from the x-men movies did.

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He spoke again, “you know you don’t have to be afraid anymore, we can help make your insecurity go away.” (I weighed over 300 lbs at the time). “you can come live at my beautiful mansion. It is full of many gifted young fat people like yourself.”

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I did not want to follow the bald man, but I could hear him in my head telling me I would get diabetes if I did not go. I had no choice, “fine. I’ll go with you, on one condition: you have to let me take you to Benny Hinn so he can heal your legs. And possibly your baldness, but we’ll worry about that when we get there. He finally agreed and we were soon on our way.

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“it’s too far to drive, we must fly.” he then took me to a nearby basketball court where he proceded to plant c4 at every corner and at the top of the key and at midcourt. He started screaming at the children to get away or they would die from the blast radius. They didn’t listen……boom…..yeah, you know what that means…

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He wheeled over to the edge of the court and, without warning, jumped. His voice told me to follow, “come with me! I have cookies!” drat it all! the bald man knew my weakness! I jumped in after him and climbed into what appeared to be a lockheed SR-71 blackbird. Actually, now that I think about it, it looked just like the sr-71 blackbird in those x-men movies..

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Half way into the flight he asked me if I traveled alot, to which I replied, “listen, I’ve travelled every road in this here land. I’ve been everywhere man, I’ve been everywhere man, I crossed the deserts bare man, I breathed the mountain air man, I’ve travelled like I’ve had my share man, I’ve been everywhere!”

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He did not like my Johnny cash reference.

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An hour later we finally arrived at what looked to be like the exact mansion in those x-men movies. I was greeted by a variety of chubby kids, all differing in shapes and sizes. One kid just kept staring at me. “may I help you kind sir?” I asked him nicely. He replied calmly, “I’M HUUUNNGRYYYY!!!” the chubby child then proceeded to attack me. He attempted to eat me but luckily I was too quick for him. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about my left pinky toe. That’s right, he ate it. I bled for a little while but got tired of it so I just gave it up.

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Over the next several months mr. Xavier (I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “he is the bald man from those x-men movies!!” but you’re wrong in your thinking. And now I will proceed to tell you why you are wrong in your thinking in what is quite possibly one of the longest parentheticals I have ever written. He is only similar to that man. His name, Xavier, is different. The x is silent.) taught me all about nutritional facts and dietary habits. He even let me take him to see benny hinn! Benny healed him and smacked him on the head just like he does on tv. Well mr. Xavier didn’t take too kindly to that…he pulled out his taser and tased benny hinn on live television. We were thrown out and mr hinn gave him his lameness back, and his cripples legs too. When we got back to the mansion he told me he actually had an important mission he was training me for. Like in that movie salt…which I would not recommend, not even the footnotes….if I have footnotes. He needed me to change the lives of some certain individuals at a certain school in a certain state in some certain states that have been recently united. And by recently I mean a long time ago.

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He started me on a workout program. “this flab will not do where you’re going!” he told me everyday. I went at it strong for a few months and pretty soon, I was normal size.

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“you’re ready.”

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He said that in my head, no one else could hear it.

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He took me to the school: Christian heritage academy. It was then that I met for the first time mr. Xavier’s godfather, mr. Jack clay. He warmly welcomed me and showed me where my supplies were and introduced me to the machine which I so thoughtfully named after my deceased friend, eartha kitt.

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Mr Xavier trained me well. Not even mr clay knows of my mission. Ever since the beginning of my career as master ice cream man I have been mixing mind control powder into the ice cream. Mr Xavier will soon control the entire school and build us up as an army! We WILL have our revenge on the federal reserve!!

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And that’s how I got my first ice cream man job. Did that answer your question?

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Footnote: I do not recommend salt in this footnote.” *

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his friend’s response:

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“i can’t even come close to responding to that.  but yes, it answered my question.”